Literary Drinking Games
by that is secret
Summary: Kagome has quite a few books to read for homework. . . and she and Miroku discover an interesting way to make them more appealing. Rated for a bit of language, and (oh god!) the sake! The sake!


A/N: Credit for the drinking game itself goes to my dear Kitty, who told me of it. Otherwise, blame the plotbunnies that invade my head right before I sleep. Yepyep. Eeeeeevil little bastards.   
  
"Literary Drinking Games"   
  
Kagome groaned and pulled a collection of books out of her bag. "I *hate* school!" she said. She unceremoniously dropped the books on the ground and glared at them. She pulled a blanket out of her bag next, smoothed it over the ground, and sat on it, arms crossed.  
  
"What are these, Kagome-sama?" asked Miroku. He picked up a hardcover, amazed at the thickness of the book itself and the quality of the paper. He flipped through it, reading some of it under his breath. He recognized the story as a popular legend.  
  
"That's my homework. I'm really behind in my reading for Japanese and English. It's awful, just awful!" Kagome sprawled out on the blanket, hands fisted in her hair.   
  
Inuyasha held the last of the pot of ramen out, offering it to the others before he ate it. Sango shook her head politely, while Shippou was too busy searching for candy in Kagome's bag and Miroku and Kagome were too busy looking through the books.  
  
"What do you have to read, Kagome?" he asked, slurping the remainders of the ramen.   
  
"A hundred pages of 'Ise monogatari' and a collection of folk tales for Japanese, and two stupid chapters from stupid 'My Antonia' for stupid English." She growled. "However the hell you're supposed to pronounce that. I can't tell if it's anne-TOH-nee-uh or ahn-toh-NEE-ah or AHN-tone-yah or what. It's the boringest book in the world." She swatted away a bug and stared at the setting sun.  
  
Miroku set down the collection of folk tales and nodded. "Perhaps you should take the first watch. That way you can study before it gets too terribly dark out."   
  
"The hell? How is she supposed to keep watch while she's reading some damn book?" Inuyasha said. "We'll end up eaten in our sleep."  
  
"There's unlikely to be any problems during the first watch, so we should be okay, Inuyasha," said Sango, spreading her own blanket near Kagome's. "Unless you don't want to take the first, Kagome-chan."  
  
"No, that sounds good to me. That way I can get some reading done before it's totally dark out, and then I can just use the fire for light."  
  
"I'll take second," volunteered Miroku. He settled across the fire from Kagome and Sango, at a safe distance from any immediate pain from the wrath of Hiraikotsu.  
  
"I swear, he only takes the midnight watch so he can stare as much as he wants at Sango's. . ." Inuyasha trailed off when he saw the warning glare Kagome gave him. "Oh, fine. Whatever." Inuyasha walked over to a nearby tree and jumped onto a branch. "I'll take after Miroku."  
  
"And that leaves the dawn for me," said Sango. Shippou, being the lucky little youkai that he was, settled down between Sango and Kagome for a nice, full night's rest.   
  
"Goodnight!" he chirped, latching onto Sango's arm. Kirara cuddled up next to him, nose buried in their twined tails.   
  
"Goodnight, Shippou," said Kagome. "Goodnight, Sango." She picked up 'Ise monogatari' and opened to the first page.  
  
"What, we don't get goodnights?" complained Miroku.   
  
Sango started to throw a rock at him, but Kagome held back her hand. "Night, Miroku, Inuyasha." At Sango's questioning glance, she said, "Hey, I just want to study in peace. I don't want Miroku whining about being hit again."  
  
Sango nodded, satisfied, while the ever-mature Miroku stuck out his tongue and turned away from them. Kagome settled down for a night of reading.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Unsurprisingly, one can easily lose track of time while reading. The sun set and the crescent moon rose, giving off just a little light. Kagome, unwilling to disturb Sango or Shippou in the quest to get close enough to the fire to read, pulled a flashlight out of her bag.  
  
"On to 'My Antonia'," she muttered. "This book is just. . . so. . . ugh."   
  
She heard Miroku stir from across the fire. "Wha 'bout the book?" he yawned, scratching his head as he sat up.   
  
Kagome looked up. "Oh, it's about your turn to take over the watch, isn't it?" He nodded. "Alright. I'm going to stay up and try to finish these two chapters, though."  
  
Miroku straightened and yawned again. "Will you toss me that book of folk tales? I don't sense anything odd in the woods, and I'd rather not be bored all night."   
  
Kagome picked up the book and chucked it over, giving it a little excess air in order to make it over the dying fire. Miroku caught it just before it hit him in the head, and then settled to his reading, book held dangerously near the fire for light.  
  
They stayed that way, in companionable silence, for quite a while. Kagome's head shot up when she heard the sound of a bottle being opened.  
  
For some reason, Miroku was pouring a cup of sake.  
  
"Miroku?" He glanced up at her voice. "What are you doing?"   
  
He smiled and set down the small bottle. "It's something I picked up from Mushin - a literary drinking game, if you will. If you enjoyed the story, drink one bottle of sake to celebrate. If you hated the story, drink two bottles to cheer yourself up. And if you're apathetic, drink until you care. Due to the number of tales in this book, I'm being conservative and drinking cups instead of bottles." He cheerfully downed the cup of sake. "Care to join me?"  
  
Kagome sat for a second, blinking, and then nodded. Miroku, a bit taken aback, gave a strange look as she walked over and sat by him. "What?" she asked. "I'm tired and the sake might keep me awake so I can finish this."   
  
He shrugged.  
  
She harumphed and went back to 'My Antonia.' He watched her out of the corner of his eye for a few moments, and then began the folk tales again.  
  
Miroku was pleasantly buzzed on his third story and third cup when Kagome tossed down her book.   
  
"That bad?" he asked.  
  
"No," she said. "It's not bad. . . I just can't get into it. It's kind of boring, but it's not so boring that I hate it. I. . ."  
  
"You're apathetic." He pulled out another bottle of sake and handed it to her. "Remember, drink until you care."  
  
She held the bottle in her hands for a bit, staring at it. Her eyes narrowed, and then she opened it and took a swallow. "It's a little bitter," she said.  
  
"Sake," said Miroku, with the air of an expert, "is like cherry blossoms in spring, snow in winter; autumn leaves and sunny summer afternoons. And like those, it is bitter only when the heart is bitter. Perhaps you should let out some emotions, Kagome-sama?" There was a little twinkle in his eye.   
  
She glared at him and then chugged half the bottle, making Miroku's eyes widen and become even more twinkly. "Alright," she said, setting the bottle down. "You want some emotion? Well, you're gonna get emotion."  
  
"Don't tell me you're already drunk."   
  
She ignored him and continued. "Let's see. I have to put up with doing this god-damned homework in the Sengoku Jidai, which is completely insufferable, and I have to miss school with the lamest and most awful excuses ever because of Jii-san. A perfectly nice boy dotes on me, but I can't go out with him because I'm stuck on a clueless hanyou who's in love with a dead chick that I just happen to be a reincarnation of. And not only that, but I'm god-damn PMSing!" She was fairly seething by the end.  
  
"Ah, Kagome-sama-"  
  
She downed the rest of the bottle and then smiled. "You know what? It really *doesn't* taste bitter anymore. Thanks for the advice, Miroku." She picked her book back up and went back to reading.  
  
Miroku wondered what, exactly, he had just unleashed; those hadn't been the emotions he'd hoped she would release. He was still reeling from her litany of complaints when she threw the book down yet again.   
  
"I STILL don't care!"  
  
He handed her another bottle. She drank this one slower, turning the pages of her book as she swallowed. He shook his head and finished his fifth story; a rather disappointing one, and he drank two cups of sake.  
  
He came to the conclusion that two bottles of alcohol was enough to make even the most corrupt of monks a bit tipsy, and he fell onto his back.   
  
"I think I'm drunk," he said.   
  
She swayed next to him. "I think I am too. It's a nice feeling."  
  
He nodded, and pulled out yet another bottle. Kagome was unsure as to where, exactly, he was producing these bottles from; however, she didn't exactly care at the moment. "Share with me?" he asked. She nodded.   
  
"We're gonna be so dead in the morning," she pointed out as she sipped from her cup.   
  
"Oh well," he said, sipping the rest of his own cup. "Since we're going to be screwed anyways, we may as well finish this off." Two more bottles miraculously appeared.  
  
"Oh god," Kagome said. She blinked and took one.   
  
"The name's Miroku, not God," he replied, a grin on his lips. She whacked him, and then fell over into his arms.   
  
"Sleepy. . ." she said.   
  
"Let's complete our mission of getting thoroughly wasted, and I think we can wake. . . um. . . who's next. . . oh, yes, Inuyasha for the next watch."  
  
They clinked the glasses together and - well, since all they'd been doing was drinking, one can imagine the practiced speed with which the sake was consumed.   
  
Miroku laid back in the grass, arms over his head. Kagome flopped forward onto his stomach, yawning. He was surprisingly warm and comfy, and she nestled into his robes.  
  
She didn't even move when the ever-wandering hand touched her backside. In fact, she didn't even give him a verbal warning; she had fallen into a drunken stupor. Miroku, too drunk to even take advantage of this sudden compliance, soon followed her into the land of alcoholic dreamings.  
  
Of course, they couldn't have expected to be allowed rest for very long. Inuyasha soon awoke, wondering why Miroku hadn't roused him. He was greeted by the sight of Kagome sprawled over Miroku, head resting on his lower stomach in a way that looked quite suspicious at first glance. Miroku's hand rested on the ubiquitous groping spot, and they both snored amongst the books and bottles.  
  
"What the FUCK?!" he yelled. Sango, startled, stirred and sat up.   
  
"What's wrong, Inuyasha?" she said, reflectively reaching for Hiraikotsu.   
  
"That!" By now, he was down from his tree and standing by Sango's side. She looked over, and her eyes narrowed into slits that would have impressed any youkai. It took all of Inuyasha's strength to keep her from running over and beating Miroku to death then and there.  
  
"Let me *go*!" she yelled, struggling.   
  
"I don't care what you do to the bozou, but just at least wait til I get Kagome out of the way!" She calmed down, and he gingerly released the seething taijiya.   
  
"He - is - *dead*," she vowed.  
  
Inuyasha walked over and prodded the sleeping Kagome. When he didn't get any response, he prodded her again. Finally, he pinched her cheek and was rewarded with a slap to the face.  
  
"Where the hell did you get aim like that?" he muttered. "And what the HELL were you two doing?"  
  
"Huh?" She turned her head over and looked up at him. "Wha?"  
  
He nodded pointedly at them. "That."  
  
She turned her head again and looked down at Miroku, and then laughed. "Oh. . . that. . . just a drinking game. . ." she slurred.   
  
"A *drinking game*?"   
  
She nodded and nestled her face back into the fabric of Miroku's robes. "Now go away, I wanna sleep."   
  
He groaned and sat down by Sango. "A fucking drinking game. They did a really great job of keeping the fucking watch."   
  
Sango stared at Kagome with a worried look on her face. "Oh, I hope this never happens again. If this kind of pattern continues. . . she's going to end up just as corrupted as him."   
  
They stopped and stared at each other at the thought.  
  
"That's horrifying."  
  
"It is."   
  
Inuyasha, head reeling, rustled through a pack by the fire and produced two more bottles. "I think we need this as much as them."   
  
Sango took the proffered sake and they sat down by the dying coals, trying not to stare at the two tangled figures as they drank.   
  
:::catch the kenshin allusion::: 


End file.
